reflections

My Butterfly Analogy for the Change Process

Wed, 09 Dec 2015 20:17:22 +0100

I have often used the metaphor of a caterpillar's journey to becoming a butterfly to describe what I feel the process of change to be like. There comes a time in the caterpillar's life when its very own skin no longer feels like it fits and it feels like there must be something more out there in the world beyond its safe environment. In order for the caterpillar to feel like it can begin the process of change it first has to build a very safe chrysalis to help protect itself as it makes this pivotal transformation. As the process continues, the caterpillar, feeling safely contained in its chrysalis, allows itself to let go of its old ways of being. It has to feel safe enough to trust this process completely before it is able to transform into a butterfly. Once completed it has now become a truly beautiful and fundamentally changed creature. It emerges from the safe chrysalis to explore the world. It can fly above, and see the familiar landscape from a whole new perspective. I believe that therapy can be a place where you can allow yourself to let go of old patterns and old ways of being, and begin to find out how to re-create yourself. It is my goal as a counsellor to help you feel safe to make this transformative journey!

The 5 principles of Personal Transformation

Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:19:37 +0100

Personal transformation, growth, and actualization is a passion of mine. I feel that to grow is to be human. Without growth and change we will inevitably feel stuck, apathetic, passionless, and unenthusiastic about life. I have come to deeply understand that life is short and that we need to cherish and value each sunrise and sunset!

Here is a great article by Jinny Ditzler talking about the five principles that she believes lead to personal transformation. Check it out!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jinny-ditzler/personal-transformation_b_860240.html

A Quiet Revolution

Wed, 21 Oct 2015 17:45:11 +0100

I have known for many years now, that I have an Introverted style of being. I enjoy quiet solitude to loud events; my energy is replenished when I have time alone and drained when I am out socializing; I think before I speak, and I spend a lot of time reflecting on, and observing life. The irony is that I love people, and I enjoy talking and visiting with others, however, I know that it takes a lot of energy for me to be outgoing and social, so I just have to plan some recharging quiet time before and after!

If you are also an introvert, or know someone who is, I would highly recommend checking out Quiet Revolution: http://www.quietrev.com/

This website provides wonderful articles related to all areas of life as an Introvert. I am enjoying exploring the content and I hope you do as well!

A dream come true! And I'm open to referrals.

Sat, 26 Sep 2015 18:39:47 +0100

I have recently joined an amazing team at Evolution Wellness Centres located in Vancouver. I am thrilled to have my dream of working within a multidisciplinary team come true! I am offering a complimentary initial 30-minute consultation to clients as a way of giving back in gratitude for this opportunity.

I am known for my compassionate and non-judgmental style and I utilize a unique blend of Person-Centred, Adlerian Psychodynamic, and Sensorimotor Therapy (Mind-Body). I like to think of my style as a combination of a Life Consultant and a Counsellor. I have a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology from Adler University, Vancouver Campus and am Registered with the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors. I have experience working with postpartum depression, anxiety, attachment wounds, introversion, highly sensitive persons, interpersonal struggles, life transitions, parenting, self-actualization and Adlerian life-style assessments.

My philosophy of the change process is holistic and integrative, and I understand the importance of looking at the entire person, and acknowledging and celebrating that each individual is unique and diverse. I am a strong believer that the body holds many memories and much wisdom, and I know that part of my work with clients is to help them to get in touch with the messages inside.

If you know of someone who would benefit from one-to-one sessions with me, I am open to receiving new referrals and am available Wednesday mornings and Saturdays. They can call 604-558-1285 or book online at http://vancouverchiroevolution.com/vancouver-location. The centre is also able to offer clients the opportunity to expand their healing practice to includeChiropractic Services, Registered Massage Therapy, Energetic Healing, Laser Pain Therapies, Spinal Decompression and much more!

In gratitude,

Jasmine McMurray

Experience the benefits of Mindfulness

Fri, 18 Sep 2015 13:24:04 +0100

The Mindfulness Summit is a FREE online event running from October 1st to October 31st. During this event you will be able to learn how to practice mindfulness from the comfort of your home, learn powerful strategies to integrate mindfulness into your daily life, learn about how mindfulness can transform anxiety, depression and stress, hear about the clinically proven benefits from neuroscience and premier researchers and much, much more.

I will be taking part in the 31 days of mindfulness and I encourage you all to take advantage of this amazing, healing practice as well!

To sign up please click the link below:

http://themindfulnesssummit.com/

8 toxic beliefs most people think are true.

Sun, 25 Jan 2015 06:14:35 +0100

I came across this today, and thought it was worth sharing. I find these to be extremely true in the work that I have done for myself and with others. What are your thoughts about this? Do you think that these thoughts have kept you stuck in a negative situation? To read more please follow this link: Read more at http://www.the-open-mind.com/8-toxic-beliefs-most-people-think-are-normal/#tEqvxiqTdgRzWxcz.99

1) "The present is indicative of the future. – When things aren’t going well there’s a tendency to extrapolate and assume the future holds more of the same. For some strange reason this doesn’t happen as much when things are going well. A laugh, a smile and a warm fuzzy feeling are fleeting and we know it. We take the good times at face value in the moment for all they’re worth, and then we let them go. But when we’re depressed, struggling, or fearful, it’s easy to heap on more pain by assuming tomorrow will be exactly like today. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future through that same dirty lens, and nothing will be able to focus your foggy judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

2) It’s too late to make changes. – Life isn’t a straight line. There isn’t one right path for you or anyone else. And there isn’t a set timeline of milestones. But sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel completely broken inside. If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, lifestyle, and so forth, by a certain age or timeframe, we assume we’re somehow broken. And that’s not true at all. You’re allowed extra time when you need it. You’re allowed to backtrack. You’re allowed to figure out what inspires you at different stages of your life. Life is meant to be a series of zigs and zags. It should look like a mess, but a beautiful mess. So whatever situation you’re in right now, just know that it can change if you want it to. It’s up to you. You just have to turn yourself around and choose something new.

3) Being vulnerable is dangerous. – We’re all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. But this isn’t healthy. Love is vulnerability. Happiness is vulnerability. The risk of being vulnerable is the price of opening yourself up to beauty and opportunity. Being vulnerable is not about showing the parts of you that are polished; it’s about revealing the unpolished parts you would rather keep hidden from the world. It’s about looking out into the world with an honest, open heart and saying, “This is me! Take me or leave me!” It’s hard to let go and be vulnerable like this though, because the stakes are high. But remember, nothing worthwhile in this world is a safe bet. Since love and happiness are born out of our willingness to be vulnerable – to open up to something wonderful that could be taken away from us – when you hide from your vulnerability, you automatically hide from everything you desire. (Read Daring Greatly.)

4) Being alone is a problem. – Wrong! If you don’t like who YOU are when you’re with someone else, that’s the real problem, and it’s time to change things. Relationships must be chosen wisely. Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. Strive to discover true love – the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better person – the kind of intimacy that’s rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone!” you say. Change your mind about that. Be alone. Eat alone. Take yourself out on dates, and sleep alone when you get back. By doing so you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will realize your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the right person who makes you feel even more like yourself, you’ll be sure of it, because you’ll be sure of yourself. Bottom line: Don’t rush love. Wait until you truly find it. A great relationship is worth waiting for.

5) Fitting in is a good thing. – Sometimes you likely catch yourself asking, “Who am I to think I can do this?” When in fact you should be saying, “Who am I to think I can’t?” Ignore your doubts. Forget about fitting in. Stand out! Think about it. If you spent your entire life focusing on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask… with nothing beneath it? That’s what happens when you spend all your time trying to be who you think they want you to be. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t save face and lose your soul in the process. Doing so does not serve the world. There’s nothing helpful about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure around you. You are meant to shine in a way only YOU can. You were born to manifest all the brilliance inside you. And as you let your light shine, you subconsciously give others permission to do the same. As you are liberated from your own fear of standing out, your presence automatically liberates those around you too. (Read Choose Yourself!)

6) There’s a perfect XYZ for me. – As human beings, we often chase hypothetical, static states of perfection. We do so when we are searching for the perfect house, job, friend, lover, and so forth. The problem, of course, is that perfection doesn’t exist in a static state. Because life is a continual journey, constantly evolving and changing. What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow – that perfect house, job, friend or lover will eventually fade to a state of imperfection. But with a little patience and an open mind, over time, that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home. That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career. That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on. And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion. It’s just a matter of letting perfectionism GO.

7) What everyone does to you is personal. – People are toxic to themselves and others when they believe that everything happening in the world is a direct assault on them, or is in some way all about them. The truth is that what other people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds and life experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re average, again, is more about them. I’m not suggesting we should be narcissists and ignore all feedback. I’m saying that a great deal of hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from our taking things personally. In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinion of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

8) You should never be sad. – The desire for constant happiness only makes us miserable. Because nothing in life is constant. There is neither absolute happiness nor absolute sadness. There are only the changes in our moods that swing between these two extremes. At any given moment we’re comparing how we feel to how we felt at another time – comparing one level of our contentment to another. In this way, those of us who have felt great sadness are best able to feel heightened feelings of happiness after we emotionally heal. We must know misery to identify times of elation. The key on a daily basis, nevertheless, is to live your life in full. Experience the highs and the lows, the positives and negatives, and all the moods present in between. Don’t focus on simply being happy. Focus on living a well-seasoned life. Focus on achieving completeness. Yes, happiness is part of this completeness, but so is sadness, difficulty, frustration, and failure. And overcoming these latter points supports your personal growth far more than constant happiness."

The Power of Vulnerability

Sun, 25 Jan 2015 06:03:25 +0100

Brene Brown's talk about the power of vulnerability is one of my favorites. Check it out below!

Robin Williams and the mask of a smile

Wed, 13 Aug 2014 13:15:44 +0100

Mr. Robin Williams was a man that I had never met; yet he was a man that I felt connected to my entire life. I looked up to him, and have admired him for years. His public persona was engaging, happy, and charismatic. I first witnessed his comedic genius in films such as Mrs. Doubtfire, Hook, and Good Morning Vietnam. He was one of my favorite people to watch. Although Mr. Williams was a man that could bring me to tears from laughter, he also brought me to tears from experiencing sadness. His portrayal of the counsellor who had lost his wife in Good Will Hunting was haunting and so accurate that every time I watch the movie I feel a deep sense of connection to loss and grief. I have long felt connected with his genuine portrayal of sadness, desperation, neurosis, and pain. He was able to truly connect with these deep dark places and show the world that underneath the smiling face their can lie a person who is haunted; A person who is lost, desperate and lonely. It has torn a piece of my heart away as I learn of Mr. Williams death and I feel so much for his family and friends and the hole that his death will leave. We so often think that a happy face means a happy soul and this is not always the truth. Sometimes the happiest people are putting on their best masks to fool the world, and underneath they are feeling hopelessness and despair. I wish that I could have somehow talked with Mr. Williams before he died to say that there is hope in this world. There is a light. Finding that light can feel exhausting and I can understand how people feel too tired to continue to fight. I do know that even though you are tired of fighting, there is always a thread that you can grasp if you can see it, and this thread will lead you to a place where there are people more than willing to help. I do wonder if fame got in the way of his journey to full recovery. Being in the public eye must have been draining for someone who was not feeling like they could be congruent. To those of you out there that feel the same way, please seek out some assistance. Talk to someone and let them know your thoughts. There is a path that leads to a long life.

It is with a heavy heart that I say that you will be greatly missed Mr. Williams.

Jasmine

The Benefits of Meditation

Thu, 24 Jul 2014 20:48:32 +0100

Meditation practice has been happening for thousand of years. Check out the benefits of daily practice:

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/4-best-scientifically-proven-benefits-meditation.html